Books for Christian Girls: "The Spinster's Christmas" by Camille Elliot

About this book:

  “Miranda Belmoore has never felt attuned to the rest of society. Her family has never understood her blunt speech and unwillingness to bow to conventional strictures, and so they have always made her feel that there is something wrong with her. Now as a poor relation in her cousin’s house, she makes plans to escape a life of drudgery and disdain from her own family members.
    Naval Captain Gerard Foremont is having difficulty adjusting to life back on land, frustrated that his career has been cut short by his severely injured knee. Guilt haunts him as he sees the strain his long convalescence has had upon his parents. As they spend Christmastide with the Belmoores, he wants to help fulfill his mother’s wish to have her orphaned niece come to stay with them.
    However, an enemy has infiltrated the family party, bent on revenge and determined that Twelfth Night will end in someone’s death …”

Series: Considered #0.5 (a prequel) in the “Lady Wynwood’s Spies” series.

Spiritual Content- Genesis 16:13 & Philippians 4:7 at the beginning; A couple Scriptures are quoted; A few Prayers & a blessing over food (mentioning being thankful for the Christ child); Going to a chapel; Talks about God, Jesus, & that He sees you; 'H's are capital when referring to God; Gerard asks Laura if his injury was God saying he needed humbling or was it a judgement (she responds that the Lord doesn’t punish in that way); Mentions of prayers & praying; Mentions of rectors; A few mentions of those & events in the Bible; A few mentions of sins; A couple mentions of churches & church going; A couple mentions of Miranda thinking about her secret (also called a “sin”) that no one can know (see Negative Content Spoiler); A mention of Laura appreciating a good confessional prayer; A mention of Gerard’s “unholy trinity” of anger, frustration, & bitterness; A mention of Paradise;
             *Note: A couple mentions of demons in Gerard’s mind; A mention of someone saying “may we be blessed by the light of the Yule candle” after lighting it; A mention of a devilish glint in a woman’s eyes; A mention of a group of people sitting at the same time to prevent bad luck.

Negative Content- Minor cussing including: a ‘blasted’, a ‘good God’, a ‘good Lord’, a ‘oh, God’, and another possible curse/derogatory name is cut-off; A bit of eye rolling; Pain, Injuries, Fighting, Fights, Being attacked, & Biting an attacker (up to semi-detailed); Social drinking; Gerard doesn’t feel whole due to his injury; Gerard’s mother makes critical comments to him about his injury & is impatient towards him (Gerard doesn’t think he deserves his mother’s censure, but he knows that seeing him through his terrible moods since being hurt has been a strain on her; she later apologizes); Miranda says her parents didn’t care for her and she isn’t treated well by her cousin and his wife (verbally abusive and takes advantage of her, including a comment about her being “touched in the head” and a “madwoman”); Many mentions of pain, injuries, blood/bleeding, knives, a gunshot, being shot, being attacked, fights/fighting, & a death (up to semi-detailed); Mentions of wars, injuries, & deaths (including Gerard recalling how his injury happened, barely-above-not-detailed); Mentions of a nursery maid being physically abusive to Miranda when she was little and *Spoiler* because of the abuse, Miranda placed a lost item of her Mother’s in the maid’s dresser which caused her accused of theft and to be fired without a reference *End of Spoiler*; Mentions of alcohol, drinking, foods/deserts made with alcohol, social drinking, a drunk/tipsy doctor, & taverns; Mentions of lies lying, & liars; Mentions of gossip & rumors; A few mentions of fires during a game (“Snapdragon” where people each reach into a bowl that has rum-soaked raisins that have been set on fire), burns, & injuries; A few mentions of a bush that looks like the shape of poo; A couple mentions of a rumor of a maid that committed suicide due to the owner of the house they worked at; A couple mentions of drownings; A couple mentions of a possible murderer or thief; A couple mentions of people (including her own mother) equating “Miranda’s slowness of foot with slowness of mind”; A couple mentions of cigars; A couple mentions of gambling; A couple mentions of cheating at games; A mention of someone’s eyes looking like “those of the dead”; A mention of threating to cut someone’s tongue off; A mention of possibly being poisoned; A mention of a child grieving her mother; A mention of prejudice towards Gypsies; A couple mentions of throwing up & vomit; A mention of a child wetting the bed; A mention of poachers; A mention of someone saying that foreign dogs carry exotic diseases; A mention of the smell of a dead rat;

             *Note: A couple mentions of Laura having to endure a horrific marriage to her late husband and she will not put herself under the control of a man again; A mention of Miranda only being able to reply on herself to save herself from her cousin’s wife’s plans (to send her as an unpaid nursery maid to a family member).

Sexual Content- A barely-above-not-detailed kiss, two semi-detailed kisses (one that includes her neck and jaw), and two detailed kisses (including one mention tongue); Recalling kisses (up to semi-detailed); Wanting to kiss someone (barely-above-not-detailed); Touches, Embraces, Hand holding, Warmth, Nearness, & Smelling (up to semi-detailed); Wanting to touch & embrace; Blushes; Noticing (barely-above-not-detailed); Gerard makes a comment about no women ever finding him such a bore that they fell asleep on his bed (as soon as his says that to Miranda, he realizes that it sounds wrong and didn’t mean it that way); A woman touches Gerard’s chest after spilling a drink on him (& lingers, barely-above-not-detailed); A child is told by their friend that “sometimes when grown-ups kiss, they make babies” and Laura corrects that “they most certainly do not make babies simply from kissing”; Mentions of kissing bough/mistletoe, kissing, kisses, & seeing a couple kiss; A few mentions of flirting; A couple mentions of a rumor of maids are said to be pregnant (implied due to the master of the house they worked at); A couple mentions of someone possibly orchestrating a scandalous situation to cause a couple to be forced to marry; A couple mentions of scandalous situations; A couple mentions of hearing that a woman died in a brothel as a sickly prostitute; A mention of Gerard thinking that while he stolen kisses from woman in different ports, he never compromised any of them and that several of the women were the ones to kiss him; A mention of a man losing all his hair from a disease he got from his mistress; Love, falling/being in love, & the emotions;
             *Note: In the illustrated edition, there are three kisses drawn out and also in some of the illustrations, Miranda’s dresses are quite form-fitting and accentuate her chest & in another illustration, she falls on top of Gerard; Miranda kicks an attacker between his legs (barely-above-not-detailed); A few mentions of when Laura stuffed her chest with fabric and during a dance, one of the pieces fell out (barely-above-not-detailed); A couple mentions of a Gerard being in his shirtsleeves & his bare leg (which Miranda see, considered scandalous during the time period); A mention of men dancing shirtless on a boat; A mention of a man being hit by a woman’s cane in between his legs; A mention of a mother dying in childbirth.

-Miranda Belmoore
-Gerard Foremont
                                P.O.V. switches between them & Laura
                                            Set in 1810
                                                        244 pages

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Pre Teens-

New Teens-

Early High School Teens-

Older High School Teens-

My personal Rating-

I felt very hopeful about this novella and was very excited to read the illustration edition of this book.
Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed.

After a few chapters in, I thought that I was just too tired to keep up with who all the many characters and their family trees, plus the unique writing style, so I promptly took a nap. Once waking up and rereading the first few chapters, though, I still struggled with those aspects.

I wanted to like Miranda and Gerard, but they both were too focused on their flaws and what they couldn’t do, which really brought down the book’s Christmassy cheer. There was a bit of faith content thanks to a side character (who is apparently more prevalent in the main books of this series), but it’s rushed for the main characters. Because of her, there are some conversations about God seeing them, but there’s no conclusion or fixing of their thoughts they had for the majority of the book.

Then the case of noble idiocy enters in (when one half of the couple thinks they’re not worthy of the other and says lies to hurt them and get the other one to leave them be) and it should be noted that I absolutely despise that cowardness.

Add in a tongue kiss and God’s name being used in vain (the context implies the phrases like “Good Lord” and “Good God” to be used as exclamations and therefore, in vain), and I am very disappointed in this book.

I don’t personally think this is the best option for Christmas books for the targets of BFCG (9-19), there’s many other better—and cleaner—options.

See y’all on Friday with a new review!