“What do you get when you cross a dragon with… actually, on second thought, it’s probably best not to cross a dragon. That goes double for crossing his princess!
Despite the perks of having a dragon, Princess Samantha laments not having a true love, so she sets off alone on a magical quest to find her Prince Charming. Of course, there is an assortment of giants, ogres, dark knights, enchantresses, and the usual hullabaloo in her way.
Fully aware of the perils of such a journey, a dishonored knight and the aforementioned not-to-be-crossed dragon set off to protect the spirited princess.
Prepare to laugh, cry, and… I don't know… cough through the best romance / adventure / comedy / fairy tale for whatever side of happily-ever-after you are on right now.”
Series: As of now, no. Seems to be a stand-alone novel.
Spiritual Content- A few Scriptures are referenced and quoted (but most are not referred to as Scriptures; One is said to be from the Good Book); A couple Prayers; A few talks about God; 'H's are capital when referring to God; A woman exclaims “Thank God” in relief; Zachary explains chivalry as “to show love for a fellow person, though it requires courage or sacrifice, this is how a knight must live . . . and sometimes die. It was our Lord’s example”; When describing Samantha’s appearance, Zachary says that angels stop to listen to her voice and that when you see her form, “only then do you understand why woman was the final and ultimate creation God ever made in that perfect garden”; A person who dies is said that “[their] spirit departed [their] body”; The narrator says that when everyone faces their judgment day, “they will not be judged by their success, but by their faithfulness”; Samantha learns that “true love means sometimes sacrificing yourself for the good of others”; Mentions of God; A couple mentions of praying; A couple mentions of blessings & being blessed; A mention of Godspeed; A mention of Philistines from the Bible; A mention of pride being a sin;
*Note: Magic is mentioned and used throughout the story; Magical creatures like dragons, gnomes, ogres, dwarves, giants, goblins, & a unicorn are seen on-page through conversations or fighting them; Some of those magical creatures threaten to eat Samantha because she’s a human maiden; A special place is called “sacred” by its visitors (which one character describes sacred as meaning “a thing set aside for a special purpose”); A book magically changes it’s letters so someone can read it; Samantha learns about a portal that will take her to her true love & goes to it; A woman has a special gel that is able to heal injuries or possibly even death (both seen on-page; One character calls her a miracle worker which she responds that she just has good medicine); *Spoilers* When Zachary wakes up from being dead, he remembers talking to a shiny person but not what was said; At the end, it’s implied to have been his father *End of Spoilers*; A witch casts spells & watches people through her magic mirror; *Major Spoilers about the witch* The witch has been near to Samantha and her mother in the castle due to shape-shifting and there is a final battle of her planning to kill them both to take Hubert’s heartstones to control him; Zachary is able to kill her and it breaks the curse on Hubert *End of Spoilers*; Two amulets are used with a special phrase/spell to shape-shift the wearer into a magical creature like a dragon, sea monster, hydra, or another person; A dwarf comments that human women with red hair “are devils”; Someone is dropped into a pool of gold, turns into gold, and dies; Mentions of a witch/sorceress, her cursing someone, using spells on others, bewitchments, magical amulets, & shape-shifting into magical creatures (like a dragon, sea monster, or hydra); Mentions of talking animals (like a dragon and a lion); Mentions of a unicorn’s horn being said to have magical properties; Mentions of a Midas pool that turns anything it touches into gold (including humans which someone uses on his enemies); A few mentions of wicked smiles and working devilishly hard; A couple mentions of fairy godmothers; A couple mentions of minotaurs & satyrs; A mention of the devil; A mention of gnomes being called demons (because they are annoying creatures); A mention of an aura around someone.
Negative Content- Minor cussing including: a ‘drat’, a ‘darn’, a ‘wimp’, two forms of ‘blast it/blast you’, two forms of ‘confounded/confound it all’, three ‘blasted’s, and six forms of ‘shut up’; A few mentions of curses (said, not written; One phrase is said to be inappropriate in mixed company but means the speaker plans to do another great bodily harm and called into question the legitimacy of the other’s parentage); Eye rolling & Sarcasm; Dying/Deaths, Killing in fights or in protection (6+), Fighting, Nearly choking/strangling someone, Causing pain, Being attacked and nearly killed, Being abducted, Being tied-up and put on a leash, Being shot with arrows, Being whipped, Being held at knife-point, Being drugged, Major Pain, Injuries, Blood/Bleeding, & Passing out (semi-detailed); Some grief; Seeing deaths and dead bodies (by someone choking and others during battles/fights, up to semi-detailed); *Major Spoilers* Samantha witnesses Zachary being killed in a battle about half-way through; Later, he shockingly wakes up and the cause it never fully known, but it’s thought to be due to the medicine gel he received prior or by a unicorn’s horn touching it and him *End of Spoilers*; Seeing someone beaten, whipped, in pain, & his injuries (semi-detailed); Implied killing/deaths (done by side characters where 6+ people or magical creatures are killed); A dragon also eats humans and goblins when in battles; Other magical creatures injury a dragon where he cannot fly until he is healed; Samantha sneaks out at night (to find a portal which will take her to her true love); Mentions of wars, battles, fighting, & deaths; Mentions of implied killing/deaths (done by side characters to mostly bad guys and deemed as “comeuppance”); Mentions of a man who kills his enemies by turning them into gold statues and melting the statues down; Mentions of deaths & grief of loved ones; Mentions of a missing child (*Major Spoilers* Samantha’s older brother who disappeared years prior; He believes he was abandoned and a witch found him, but she actually kidnapped him and manipulated him for years; He physically fights with Hubert and nearly kills him before realizing the truth *End of Spoilers*); Mentions of magical creatures eating other magical creatures or humans (& the threat of it, up to semi-detailed); Mentions of thieves, stealing, & stolen items; Mentions of a girl being abused, beaten, & nearly whipped by a corrupt constable; Mentions of someone being whipped, in major pain, injuries, & blood/bleeding (up to semi-detailed); Mentions of threats of harm & death; Mentions of taverns/bars, alcohol, drinking, & drunks; Mentions of lies, lying, liars, & deceit; Mentions of hatred; Mentions of gossip & rumors; A few mentions of an assassin; A few mentions of nightmares; A mention of a possible drowning of a child; A mention of tattoos;
*Note: When meeting a unicorn, Samantha says that everyone knows that only maidens can approach it, which makes Zachary and Hubert comment on that sounding “rather sexist”;
A few comments from the narrator about people in D.C. and politicians are “full of muck”; Mentions of a dragon eating sheep, deer, & bison (also a mention that the dragon tried eating a gnome years ago and it got stuck in his teeth; He also teases about eating a unicorn); A couple mentions of public figures (Benjamin Franklin & George Cluster); A mention of Chanel No 5.
Sexual Content- An almost kiss (barely-above-not-detailed) and a border-line barely-above-not-detailed // semi-detailed kiss (the narrator says after the kiss that “More kissing soon followed, but the particulars of such intimacy are a private matter betwixt two people in true love, and we shan’t be so indelicate as to discuss the juicy details in front of all the people who shall read this tale. However, if you will meet me behind the castle later, I’ll tell you all about it.”); A few touches (barely-above-not-detailed); Noticing & Staring (including muscles and curves, up to semi-detailed); a ‘hot’, a ‘trollop’, and two ‘wench’s; When injured, Samantha helps Zachary put on a shirt; Samantha has to change in the same room as Zachary and when she tells him not to peek, it’s noted that “Since the knight couldn’t honestly reply with, I would never dream of it, as he was certain he would, he instead went with something else”; Samantha and Zachary share a bedroom at night, but he stays awake and on guard rather than sleeping (some men hoot and whistle when they see the two leave the room; One man calls out a “rather unflattering comment” about the virtue of the princess and Zachary goes to take care of him, but Samantha does it instead); Zachary says you’ll know when you’ve found your true love when “you look into their eyes and time seems to stop. You could spend the rest of time forever lost in their eyes, and you know it would be an eternity of paradise”; *Spoilers* Hubert the Dragon is actually Samantha’s father; He was a man and cursed by a witch to be a dragon, but twice a year he turns back into a human; Samantha’s mother told her never to talk about this as it would make things incredibly awkward in their kingdom *End of Spoilers*; Talks about & mentions of true love, finding your true love, & what love really is; Mentions of a prince enjoying the company of a different maiden nearly every week, how he views marriage has a “narrow constraint” (though a later comment makes it sound like he will be faithful to his wife), & his philandering reputation; Mentions of being dumped, break-ups, & broken hearts; A couple mentions of married couples having (or even one man saying) “pleasure” in a relationship; A couple mentions of a man saying he has a lust for money or for beauty (he is unsure of the way the saying goes); A couple mentions of men hooting and whistling at Samantha (which makes her feel exposed); A mention of a married couple kissing; A mention of a kiss at a wedding; Some love, falling in love, & the emotions;
*Note: A creepy man calls Samantha delicious, delectable, scrumptious, and yummy multiple times while leering at her and her body hungrily; The same creepy man demands for Samantha to marry him (*Spoilers* At first she does not want to, but decides to say yes to protect someone else, citing that it’s true love to sacrifice yourself for the good of others; She quickly realizes that he will just view her as property, however, and she will not be able to make a difference for the others *End of Spoilers*); Samantha is given a revealing dress to wear by the creepy man and she does not want to wear it (saying that her husband will be the only person to see her in such a revealing gown; The man is said to have ordered her to either be in the gown or out of it, preferring the latter; She thinks about throwing herself out the window instead of allowing herself to be “debased and flaunted” while dressed in the revealing gown), but she does wear it, calling it a sacrifice for the others she wants to protect and is also forced to be on a leash-like piece of jewelry; *Spoiler about the dress* Later, Samantha is able to change in to a respectable dress and Zachary says he “kind of liked” her in that gown, which she punches him on the arm for saying *End of Spoiler*; Another man gives a hungry groan when leering at Samantha; Samantha’s curves are described to be “the way human males find most attractive”; A young giant girl’s shirt is ripped to show her back before she’s whipped by a man for stealing.
-Princess Samantha, age 19
-Sir Zachary
Narrator P.O.V.
Medieval-Fantasy setting
358 pages
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Pre Teens-
New Teens-
Early High School Teens-
Older High School Teens-
My personal Rating-
This book was a very unique story. While the general concept of a princess searching for her one true love may not be unique, the setting, magical creatures, events, and writing style make this book different from many.
Speaking of the writing style: this one was very quirky. Instead of having a POV character or two, we have a narrator who often breaks the fourth wall to tell the reader about something. While I can see why some may like this, it wasn’t my personal favorite style to read. The narrator often goes into rants or vents about different things such as grammar rules (or the lack of certain grammar at the time of the book’s setting) which would take me out of the story. An audiobook of this story would have probably been more amusing with listening to it rather than reading it. As it was, I didn’t care for the narrator. At the beginning, sometimes the characters use “thee”s and “thou”s and the rest of the time they say “oh, come on” and “I know, right?”. It was a little disorienting.
There was a lot of “Easter eggs”, so to speak, of pop culture reference. Some were a funny addition and others a little odd as I don’t think most YA readers would pick up on those parts.
As far as the plot, I liked some elements of it (such as Samantha’s growth and realization about what true love really is), but I also had to push myself to finish this book. I think it was mainly because of the narrator writing style, but I also didn’t enjoy all the killing that happened in this book as it was mostly described as beheadings or slit throats and like it was expected or average to do. It felt a little senseless at times, like it was no big deal.
Figuring out the ratings of this book took me a while because there were some comments/parts I didn’t love, quite a bit of killing/violence, and men leering at Samantha (including when she’s forced to wear a revealing dress). It’s definitely a quirky tale, so I would suggest reading the preview on Amazon to see if it would be your cup of tea.
See y’all on Friday with a new review!
*BFCG may (Read the review to see) recommend this book by this author. It does not mean I recommend all the books by this author.
*Note: The author originally contacted me over a year ago to review this book and planned to send me a physical copy. I never received the book from him, but already having this book on my radar, I am still reviewing it. I read it through Kindle Unlimited. Just like if I received it for review or bought it myself, my review is 100% my honest thoughts.
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